


Bandages

by PkRockin



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Based on a set of headcanons about Gundam's bandages, Depression, Multi, Pre-Despair, Self Harm, Short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-06 23:09:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6774049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PkRockin/pseuds/PkRockin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reason behind your arm is a long, long story. <br/>You don't know how you got around to this awful hobby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanons are a fun, expirimental thing.  
> In this shortfic, Gundam struggles with thoughts of self harm and destructive behaviours. more chapters will be added!   
> will be gundam/sonia and gundam/sonia/souda in later instalments.

It hurts.

It hurts a lot, you think. More than you remembered it to.  
Why does it sting? Maybe there was something dirty on the blade.  
You lower the small sliver of metal, examining your handiwork.  
Red drips down your forearm, and you wince as it pools beneath you.

You love it.

Despite how much it hurts, you love it. You want to hurt yourself more than that, dig deeper than just angry cuts.   
But you can't. Not any more than you have. You'd like to imagine what it's like to bleed out, and sometimes let yourself come close. 

You enjoy thinking like this. It makes you feel like you have more of a purpose. More of a reason to keep yourself eating; breathing.   
It used to be fueled by your companions, your pets. You love animals, more than anything. You care for them more than you do yourself, feeding them correctly rater than yourself. You use all the water you have in the house for their bowls.   
You don't care about taking care of yourself. It's not a priority.   
You can survive. You're fine, and anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional.

You are Gundam Tanaka, and you have these bandages for a reason.


	2. Console

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't know.   
> And it kind of hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops i let my guilty ship slip.  
> i'll add that to the pairing list for this fic lmao  
> but yeah! fluffy stuff.   
> i like to think gundam struggles with emotions. he doesn't handle them well and ends up acting rashly before he can think to handle it appropriatley.   
> and its usually up to sonia or souda to help clean up the mess that gundam makes of himself  
>  ; u;

You wince harshly as your arm is grabbed roughly. You don't appreciate the gesture, but ignore it anyways and swat the hand away.   
"Get off," you spit, adding vulgarities in your tongue to enhance your threat.  
The mechanic snarls something back, and squeezes.   
You immediatley react, yelping and wriggling your arm free. Warmth spreads across the fabric wrapped around your arm, and you hiss at the sting that the grip left behind.  
He looks shocked, almost scared. You grin as he watches the blood drip from your arm, as he slowly pieces together that you're wounded.  
He doesn't ask why, nor does it seem like he knows its self-inflicted.   
He just stares wordlessly, mouth agape as more blood soaks your bandages.  
"You fool. Look what a mess you've made," you growl, trying to wring him dry. 

"Why are they fresh?" 

Your daydream quickly vanishes, and you snap back into reality at the sound of concern in Kazuichi's deep, musky voice.  
"And deep, too. Your hamsters are the only thing on this damn island. Why the fuck are they bleeding so much?" 

You gulp, trying to wiggle free of this situation. He'd figure out eventually if you didn't act fast.   
"No reason," You say, though you know he won't accept that as an answer.  
"Bullshit! Did someone try to hurt you? Who did this to you?" He acts concerned. You know he's acting. Why else would he act like this? Just a minute ago he was calling you a piece of shit, and now he acts as if he's in it to mother you.   
"It's just blood you imbecile, pay it no mind and leave me be, will you not comply or will I have to pry it from your cold blooded jaws?" You snarl, snapping your teeth in a display of dominance. He shuts you down quickly with a laugh, and steps forward. You take an equal step back.

"Don't be ridiculous. Just because I hate you doesn't mean jack shit. This is survival we're talking about here. Anyone who wants your ass on a platter might want mine, too. So tell me who it is so I can rat them out, yeah? And jesus, dude. Clean yourself up, you're gonna bleed out," The Mechanic reaches out to hold your arm, but it isnt rough or demanding. He's asking you to see your arm.   
You wince, heart racing and blood turning hot as your cheeks flush angrily.   
"B-back up! My blood is filled with poison an-"   
"Ugh, shut up man. Just let me help you this one damn time you big baby," He cuts you off before you can yelp at him to back away.   
The noise that comes from your throat is small and weak, tears welling up in your eyes. Why are you so scared? Why do you care if he knows?   
His hands are big, bigger than yours, and he gently brushes away a bead of blood. He carefully begins unwrapping your arm, eyebrows pressed together softly.  
"Dude, are," He starts, but once he notices you shivering and whimpering, he slowly realizes the situation and his once stern expression turns to worry and slight pain.  
"Did you do this? These marks," He begins, voice turning hushed and soft.  
"Bro..."   
"Do not adress me like that! I-.." You try to rebute, try to find words to contradict him, but they never come. And you never respond to his question.  
"Man, I guess I should have known,"   
He starts to wrap your arm up again, careful of the bigger slices.  
"But, c'mon man, there are better ways to deal with shit. What if your furrballs knew you were doing this?"   
He turns his head to the side, looking a little upset.

"Do not speak to me as if you know my situtations, mortal! They know perfectly well, and do not pay it any mind! And you, especially you, should do the same and walk away like you've never seen it to begin with!"   
You feel like crying. You're not sure why but you really want to break down and sob.   
You don't know why you do this to yourself. You don't know why you don't take care of yourself. You don't know why thoughts and feelings plague you like they do.   
Before you can stop it, you're crying.  
Your cheeks are wet, and dripping with wordless abandon.  
Souda looks up, and his eyebrows press together.   
"Whoa whoa, hey, don't cry," He starts, walking quickly up to you and awkwardly shuffling his body around yours.  
You don't want to allow him to grab you, but your body feels weak and creaky. You let him hug you, despite the bile you feel churn in your stomach.  
"C'mon, I think we can borrow stuff from Mikan and clean you up. We can talk later, so stop crying, alright?"   
You nod softly, feeling weaker than you did when you got shoved into this situation.

You're too tired to object.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's emotional.   
> Too emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how long im gonna keep this series going but for now, here's the third chapter!   
> cute fluff. :3c

"Hey, Look at me,"   
You wake up from your daydreaming and slowly move your glance to the voice calling you.  
Oh. Right.   
You take a second to remember your situation, and glance down at your arm. Suddenly, you remember the feeling of pain, and wince when Souda tugs on the wire strung through your flesh.   
You had forgotten you had gone this deep.   
"Does that hurt? Sorry," He apologizes, rolling up his sleeves more to expose more of his veined and muscular forearm.   
You stare longingly at his tanned caramel complexion, envying the lack of deep gashes and scars. 

Theres a lot more blood around your arm than you expected. You two have been here for a while. All other cuts have been sewed closed besides two others, seemingly bigger than the rest.  
"No, It is alright," You don't recognize your voice. It's croaky and weak. You wish you had the energy to put on your triumphant accent.   
You don't notice Kazuichi staring. He's focused on his work, but his eyes wont leave yours.   
You want to ask what he's doing, but you're almost afraid to.   
He already knows one of your darkest secrets. He might be trying to pick you clean for more.  
"Hey, so..." Kazuichi starts, eyes darting everywhere but you now.  
"Why'd you start doing this? Cutting, I mean."   
He's hesitant at first, like he doesn't want to refer to this as 'cutting'.   
Thats what it is, right? You can't remember.  
"I don't know," you finally answer, trying to find reason in your messed up and congealed logic of yours.

"Is that true or are you just trying to keep it secret?"   
You pause.  
Do you even have an answer to that?   
"I don't know," you reply after a long few seconds of silence.  
He seemingly grows agitated, and you wince as he plunges back into your arm with the needle and pulls roughly.   
"Ow," you whine, and he doesn't even look at you.  
"You're an idiot," he growls, keeping up his messy and angry pace.   
You want to tell him to slow down, but you're afraid he's going to stab your eye out if you mention it.  
"You think you're so worthless, so... uneeded that you seclude yourself. You let it rot and fester until it consumes you," his tone falters from pissed to furious. He's mad. You don't know why, or why he cares. Why does it matter to him?   
You're growing a little scared.

"You think this whole damn world wants to rip your guts out and present them to you, huh? I bet you hate yourself," he barks dryly. You want to agree. Because you do. God, you really do. There hasn't been a single good thing that you enjoyed about yourself since you were a kid. You want to tell him just how much hatred you have for yourself, but you doubt you'll be able to find words that describe it in the way you wish they could.  
He's shaking now, but you're still concerned that he may be getting rougher with his patchwork.  
You're bleeding more than you were before.  
"Dammit, you're the only good thing on this fucking island!" You gasp audibly and notice wet, dog tears streaming down the mechanic's cheeks.   
Why is HE crying?   
You want to throw up.

"You think all these negative things, you think no one wants to have anything to do with you that you go and.. and do this shit! And look what happens. People like me, people like me that CARE about you-" he pauses, seemingly worn out.  
"You end up hurting us, too." 

You're speechless at first. You don't know what to say, or think, or do.   
You stare wide eyed at the man before you, who seems more distraught with all this than you are.  
"You don't eat, or sleep, or do anything other than care for the ones you love," he whispers, wiping his bloodied sleeve on his face.  
He finishes the last round of stitches and sniffles quietley. 

"And you hurt the ones that love you in the process." 

He gets up, wiping his hands off on a spare towel he set aside.   
He starts dabbing away at the blood on your arm, and all you can do is stare.   
What do you do now?   
How do you even react to something like that?   
So you cry. You lean over on yourself and sob, letting out wails and screams of all kinds. Souda quietly drapes himself over you and cradles you, pulling you safely into his lap. He caresses you, gently rocks you out if your breakdown, and presses your head flush against his chest.

"Cry if you need to.. don't do this shit anymore. Come to me or Sonia. Please," He whispers in your ear and you shudder, hiccuping as you come down from your episode.  
"We love you more than you can ever imagine, Gundam. And your animals do, too."   
"We'll always be here for you," he kisses your temple and you let out a shivery sigh, loving the soft motion of his breathing. You didn't know you could feel this calm.   
You lean into his strong, broad arms and nuzzle into his neck.  
He doesn't seem to mind.

You're Gundam Tanaka, and you're loved a lot more than you thought. 

And maybe thats a good thing.


End file.
